The sidebar mysteriously reappeared. I did nothing but post that last post. I have no idea. I'm really not a techno-idiot. I can do pretty cool things in excel and access. Really. And I'm good at explaining to programmers why my idea is NOT impossible, LOL. Anyone who works with programmers knows how important that is!

Now I need to fix the photo. That's a photo of me double nursing while knitting. I'm quite proud of it, LOL. I don't do it often, but it's the sort of extraordinary multi-tasking I strive for. It would be nice if it were a more flattering photo of MEEEE, but I trust you'll be impressed with my skill, even if you think I've got bad hair (I do).

I had a yucky, yelly day with the kids yesterday. Ironic, since I left you last full of weepy gratitude for my amazing brood. That hasn't changed, I'm still spectacularly grateful, and I know that gratitude does not mean I can't have bad days. So, well, I'm having bad days, okay? Why is PMS lasting for over a week lately? Maybe it's because I have two two-year-olds? Or maybe it's the coffee. My pusher--er "barEEsta"--at the library coffee shop here at work is laughing at me when I ask for "just a little caffeinated coffee in the decaf" every day. It's a viscous cycle--I drink caffeine, then I can't sleep, I stay up until 1 am, have to get up at 7:30 (in order to be LATE for work), then need caffeine...lather, rinse, repeat. I'm a junkie, man. I need the caffeine equivalent of methadone. The only good thing about it is that if I have a little caffeine in the afternoon, I am much better able to handle the afternoon pre-dinner meltdown and the wild rumpus before bed.

So by the end of the night last night, the kids were copying me, yelling "stop that!" over and over again, which is what I felt like I was doing. In my own defense, it was not gratuitous yelling. I was telling them to "stop that" meaning:

1) biting each other
2) pushing each other
3) hitting each other
4) throwing things at each other and
5) putting books in the toilet.

Are you noticing a theme here? I hear almost daily, "Oh, twins, they must be the best of friends!" Yup, whenever they aren't trying to kill each other. Of course then there's the aftermath where the perp kisses the victim's booboos and says sorry and gives a sweet hug. Reminds me way too much of a public health pamphlet about domestic violence. I had no idea how brutal this sibling thing could be (I'm an only child). No wonder Rhys is still upset about the time her older siblings bet her she couldn't get her whole finger into her nose. They're still fighting about the ten bucks.

I'm not really sure where #5 came from, but it was a very exciting activity for about 2 minutes until mamacate shut the bathroom door, which thankfully sticks so they couldn't open it again. One book fell victim beyond repair, which is actually okay since it was a freebie from the grocery store based on a TV show they've never seen (Rolie Polie Olie).

But all that self-defense aside, I did not have a banner parenting day. Perfectmama would have always been within arm's reach, gently catching the arm or preventing the bite, or redirecting the throw ("let's play basketball!," perfectmama says cheerily!). Apparently perfectmama does not have laundry to do, nor does she ever have to pee, and every item she needs (sippy cups containing the desired beverage du moment, pajama tops, the third outfit choice) is in arm's reach, so she can always prevent any toddler aggression before it starts. And perfectmama never has to change diapers either, because of course that's a capital offense. Did I mention the kids are into potty learning right now? Which means that they don't want to wear diapers, but they also don't want to sit on the potty. It would be funny if it didn't involve the amount of laundry and carpet stain removal it currently involves.

OK, it seems I am unable to do anything but rant. Perhaps I'll post later about things fibery. Now I'd better finish my executive summary (so close to being done with this report, I can taste it, and wow, I am ready to get it off my desk!). My keyboard is certainly warmed up...